Success through Failure (hopefully)

I have considered myself as a “passer”. I may not be a top notcher when it comes to exams of any kind but I have no problems in passing. So I’m just your average girl, someone who never fails, but at the same time, someone who’s also not an achiever. My grades blend well among others. It never stood out whether for wrong reasons or right ones. It’s just there.

Though my grades are ok, I was satisfied with it. I did t

ake my board exam once, passed my IELTS after one take and I did graduate on time. I have always thought that I know I can be more or that I could excel but I chose not to. That’s how smug I am. I’m always the best every first chances. During every first semester in college, I excelled in every exam. My name at times always gets called for having the highest grade. But after awhile, when I’ve already established that I am smart, I tend to fall back and blend. My grades from excellent will now turn to mediocre. That’s because I know that if I want to, I can be #1.

Now that I’m having my training at San Juan de Dios along 87 other people, having the better grades is a must! It has become a competition. They’re looking for the “cream of the crop”. There is an 80% mark that we all should achieve or above it in order to get in. Else, it’s time to find another hospital. Being a San Juan de Dios College graduate, I knew it’s going be a piece of cake! I knew everything about the hospital, heck I’ve spent 2 and a half years of my clinical exposure there.

But looks like I have to work extra hard. I have failed lots of my exams and It’s not like me since (1) I know that I’m a passer but I don’t even settle f9r the boarder line grade. (2) New people, new instructors, new environment, I should be impressing people by now! Looks like I have to learn humility and the importance of hard work now.

During my first week, I have to admit that I had a poor attention span because of my withdrawal case of Casey James. My head’s up in the clouds and I day dream most of the time. But during one major exam, I did study overnight but nothing-I failed. My excuse for that time was that I was so used to treating multiple choice types of questions like it’s a puzzle. Looking for clues why an option is wrong (a technique to learn to pass board exams) instead of understanding the question head on. We did an exam now about drug dosage computations and I’m so good at that during college! I consider myself as a mathematician, I love numbers, how they add up and how the formulas make sense. But again-failed!

Even though I’m frustrated and disappointed, I know I have to set that aside and think positively. Hopefully writing all it here in my blog will help me move on. I just have to study harder and shouldn’t take this opportunity lightly just because I’m a graduate of the hospital’s college. I should work double time since I have been idle for one year. I know all of these failures will be my tools in building a bridge to my path.