Need to get away

It's funny how history repeats itself. It was just last year around this time of the month that I wrote the "post". I guess I'll be writing the same type of post every year since it's usually March to June that my aunt stays at our home. I really don't think I have the patience to tell the whole story why she's staying. Having the family together is not one of it.

She's has little money, so in order for her to save for rent (she doesn't have her own house), food and electricity, she stays with us. Sure no problem, but I can't take it that my mom's shouldering all of it. Our water and electricity bill increases every time she's with us. My mom have difficulties budgeting the expenses now cause she has to add into the budget my aunt and my cousin's expenses. And what does my aunt do with the little money she has? Uhmmm watch a movie at the mall, buy new clothes or unnecessary stuffs. It would have been easier to accept her if she saved the money to buy for her medicines (she's sick with cancer). My mom actually is the one who buys her medicines, not only that she also has to lend my aunt money for who knows what! And of course, she doesn't pay my mom back. I actually don't know what'll happen to my aunt without my mom. I guess she's lucky to have my mom cause it seems no one else would like to babysit her as much.

I wouldn't have mind if she stayed for a year in our home. I guess with her in our house, I don't have my space. She stays in my room and every time she does, it's no longer my room but hers! Even though at times she stays with us for the weekend, she always manages to make my room hers! That's what I'm so frustrated about!! Her bed is in my room since she doesn't want to throw it away when she moved to a smaller apartment where her queen sized bed didn't fit. She would rather have one of our single bed thrown out just to have room for her bed! ugh! My dresser now have all her beauty products, used cotton balls, tweezers and mirror. My bathroom now is filed with all her shampoos, soaps of different kinds and glasses! My bathroom used to be clean, neat and bright. Not anymore. The window in the bathroom can no longer be closed because she has her staff hanging by it. That's why cockroaches have been entering the room! Hey as long as she has a place for her stuff right?! One of our cabinets have to be cleaned out so that she has room for her clothes! Every time I go home, I just feel frustrated that MY room welcomes me with so much mess and stuffs that aren't mine scattered everywhere. And we're only talking about my room here! The only untouched area of our house is my brother's room! The living room, library, storage room, my mom's, every room has her stuff in it! She actually made our house her very own storage room!!

The bum thing in all of this, at times, I have to sleep at 2am just so that she is sleeping already and I can watch tee-vee before going to bed. I sleep with lights off, but she can't and every time I close it, she complains! I can't be alone in my room! I can't have the doors locked and lie still in my bed cause someone'll be coming in and out, hanging inside the room. I would even be spending my privacy or solitude in my brother's room when he's not around cause I don't have my room for myself anymore.

My mom actually bought a home for my aunt, but she didn't want to live there. She's a city girl and doesn't want to live in the province. So my mom sold the house to someone else. Now my aunt is looking for a house in the city. I just think, with so little money and depending on other people (she gets monthly allowance to the father of my cousin), why does she have to be so picky and not be contented. Does she have to have glamour all the time? My mom saw a home up for rent near us, but my aunt was so fickle about it that they lost it to a buyer.

I've been wondering when the hell will she get out of our house?! I'm actually okay with my cousin staying with us. She's a good kid without her. I kinda pity my cousin at times when her mom's abusing her. My aunt can't seem to not shout talking with my cousin. And every little thing my cousin does would be met by harsh words or battering.

That's why I'm so thankful that I'm in a dormitory now. Even though I'm sharing it with three other girls, I have my own space! I don't hear anyone arguing, I don't hear anyone shouting or complaining. All the negativity my aunt brought to our home, I can no longer experience in the dorm. I want to spend my time with my family, but with her there, I get so annoyed, frustrated and angry that I'd rather be away and just come back when she moves out. Heck, I may be the one voicing this out publicly, but it's a fact that each and everyone in our home, has complaints about her.